Hey everyone. My name is Kimiko & this is my story,
From growing up into a family that doesn’t show love, support or guidance. Being told countless times your worthless, a loser, a nobody, stupid, brain dead, a mistake. To being beaten with brooms, belt buckles, rakes, anything because I was one second or minute late or all the leaves in the yard weren’t all raked or the rice cooked wrong, house not clean enough. To not being able to have friends or have a life, being kept home/sheltered, can’t even sleep in on weekends. Bed being kicked to get up at 7-8 in the morning to do a list of chores and a time limit as to when it needs to be done. To being shut down or ridiculed by the ones that are suppose to love you and praise the good and achievements and accomplishments you’ve made and done. To having siblings that are never their and if they are, they’re bullying/taunting you, name calling, teasing etc. To going to school and having people call me names, say I’m this I’m that, having no one to hang with, being a constant loner. Having to wake up every day hating myself, thinking I should be dead, I wasn’t good enough, I’m ugly, I’m stupid, nobody loves me, nobody cares, eventually turned into cutting myself and attempts of killing myself. To having dated men in my life that took advantage me and my body, and stealing from me. To being raped by my own ex-bestfriends brother and to be blamed for it like it was my fault, being so ashamed and so alone. To now being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and having already for years severe depression. I don’t know how I am alive today having gone through all of this throughout my whole life.
I honestly thank god everyday though for my son, he is what keeps me sane and alive and wanting to still be here on. I might not be the greatest provider right now for him, but I do know from every thing I have gone through I made it my absolute duty to never let him live the kind of life I had to nor face the same things I’ve faced. All the things I craved and never gotten, I’ve made sure to give to him. All the love and support I wish I had gotten and never got, I give to him every single day of my life. He is the total opposite of me and I am so thankful for that. He is such a happy child regardless of how we are struggling atm. His always smiling. I love him so much and I just wanna make sure to give him the best life and to have him know I love him so much.
I feel so pathetic turning to strangers (public) for any help but times are so hard and I want my son to know I did every thing I could for him regardless of my past or how I grew up or what I was told. I’m putting my pride aside and coming out of my comfort zone for him. This is all for my child. Thank you to anyone who took the time to actually read this. God bless.
REASON FOR MY GOFUNDME CAMPAIGN:
I’m here trying to raise money for myself and my 7yr old son. We’ve been facing a lot of hurdles and I as you can tell am a single mother. Doing this on my own. No help from anyone. It’s just us two. I had no where else to turn honestly for help financially, I was told about this and it helped so many people. It’s amazing the stories and progress people make on it. The miracles. But I wanted to try and see if this could help me and my son. If it does that would mean the world to us and if it doesn’t it’s okay it was worth the effort. Never hurts to try. Anything is possible. Well we are from Hawaii born and raised. Times are hard here, finding stable secure jobs that pay well is just as hard. I work two jobs both are part time I barely make 25-30 hrs a week, so I’m constantly searching for jobs every chance I get. I am a certified nurse aide and retail associate. I been trying to go back to college. I tried for the grant for single parents but I unfortunately didn’t get it so I’d have to pay which I cannot afford so it’s on hold. If I had the funds I’d definitely go back and get my nursing degree to become a licensed registered nurse. BUT my main concern is my son and providing him the best life possible and be a good mother/provider for him. Like any other in this world we face tragedies and struggle. Well we been going through our fair share and can’t catch a break, I’ve tried to get help from welfare and whatever charities and resources I could find but I seem to never qualify or meet the requirements. Which I don’t understand because I make only $500 I’d say every month and I barely can pay our monthly bills and necessities and things we need like food and clothes. Every month is a struggle as to what bills I can pay or how much groceries I can afford to get to last a whole month. And recently our car broke down and it’s over $1000 to fix which we cannot afford so we’re left walking or having to ask for rides from whomever willing to. I just feel like a failure and disappoinment as a mother that my son has to live life this way. For the past four years we were unable to celebrate my childs birthday like people do traditionally with a cake and presents, neither have we celebrated Christmas for the past four five years because I couldn’t afford to buy him gifts. I can never do anything for us. I know it’s not as bad as it seems but it is and I recently been diagnosed with bi – polar disorder, I see a counselor to help manage my disorder and depression and so much more. I know theirs worse situations and problems out there that others face so I don’t want to sound selfish or “pity me” story. I’m just out of solutions and wanna just better our life for me and my child most importantly. I’m definitely not one to ask for money or hand outs, but I’m left with no choice and in desperate need of help. If anyone, just anyone could help me and my son. We would deeply appreciate it so much, it would be the ultimate greatest thing. We both always hope and pray every day that some day we will be blessed with greater things. I’m just asking anyone if you could please help us in any way. It could be $5 or $10 no matter the amount, we’d deeply appreciate it so much. It would better our life and future. Please!
Thank you and bless your heart.